"
When people were thinking about colleges I was thinking about balance sheets."
Corporate life. A recurrent
phrase in standup comedy these days. Our 9 to 5 work life have become so
mundane that people out of it are minting money because of it, than people in
it. Not for Ankur Begwani though. The warmth with which he has embraced Corporate
Culture deserves special mention. It now clearly reflects in his ever growing
list of achievements. But like any other achiever there were stumbling blocks
in his career as well. He once got so irritated by his job that he simply quit.
The point to note here is that the firm he walked out of was one of the so
called “Big 4”. What he did next is
truly remarkable and deserves a space in corporate folklore. Ankur displays
maturity that far transcends his age. In the following interview he talks in
length about leadership, what it means to him to work, his challenges, his keen
interest in books and sports, his idols and his plans going ahead.
Q1. Citi recently got selected for a leadership program.
Could you describe the nature of the program and the opportunities that you got
being selected for it?
AB: This program is to nurture young leaders in the organization so that they
rise up the ladder and become potential country leaders in the years to come.
Basic objective is to give them the skill set required to be leaders at very
high level, to manage country level operations
The nature of the program being it encompasses three assignments
working in three different countries in three different roles which gives a
very holistic approach of how working in a different country feels like. What
the approach to a particular problem is in a different country, what is it
working with people who are not like you, your understanding with people who
you don’t recognize with, how do you interact with people who don’t understand
your language, to break the language barrier and how you survive in a country
about which you know absolutely nothing of.
It’s about getting
yourself out of the comfort zone and experiencing things which you have never
done before. It is all about getting yourself attuned to those skill sets which
is very much required to be a leader at the top, that is this program is all
about and this is why I am here
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Embracing Leadership
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Q2. Going back to the
start of your journey. Why you chose to become a CA?
AB: Hmm… That is a tough one actually. I still don’t remember why I chose
to become a CA. On a lighter note I chose to become a CA because that was the
easiest thing to do at that time because I had passed out of 12th
standard with commerce specialization and to do MBA I had to do three years of
graduation first. So one fine day my dad told me “Why don’t you apply for CA,
because that will give you three years of time that you require to do
MBA”. I thought yeah I can give it a
shot at least. So I cleared my CPT first then join my internship office while
preparing for 2nd level. All this was a great learning experience
because I was fresh class 12th pass out sitting and thinking of how
corporate world runs of which I had no clue of. This is when I started getting
in my head that it is a brilliant course because it lets you experience so much
different at such an early age. When people were thinking about colleges I was
thinking about balance sheets. That was a different experience because I was
thinking about what to do in my
professional life, which in your college years you generally think about that,
it happens when you are nearing your graduation days, I was thinking about all
that in the 1st month of my college years. CA doesn’t let down you
settle easily, it keeps you on the hooks. There are so many qualities that you
learn as you grow studying that course, not only you get the technical
knowledge, but you also learn to live under pressure and work under pressure
and to perform as well. And CA thing along with the internship the volume of
experience was immense. At the end of the day it’s all about how you do it and
how you take it but it is such a sheer thing to do. The realization came later
when I completed CA of what I have gone through. The best part is I got an
opportunity to live alone and live out of my comfort zone. It is then I learnt
the value of sacrifice by giving up something which I grew up with. It is
because of all this it is a great course.
Q3. Doing CA is tough in India. Why?
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The CA journey
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AB:
It is tough because if you speak technically the syllabus is huge. It
is tough in terms of material but it seems tougher in terms of length and
breadth of it. You don’t know what you are expected of until and unless you see
the results, because when you see a red mark in your result then you realize
that I have not done this much Because there is nothing called enough or you
have done enough to pass the exam, until and unless you come to the result day
when you realize I am this short or this much above that is the tough part
because you don’t know where the end is and you have to keep on doing it.
It is a psychological thing as well that doing CA is tough in India, it
is bit psychological and I am not saying this because I have done it I am also
not saying because many people in front of me have done it but I am saying from
a general experience. Everything you put your heart and soul to it is not
tough. So, people can do it. I mean it’s more of a perception thing that doing
CA is tough in India. It is all about perception than being a reality at times
Q4. After completing your CA which was the first job you
picked?
AB: After completing
my CA I worked with Ernst and Young for 7 months. That was my first job as an
audit executive there.
Q5. You quit that job on your own accord. Why?
AB: One thing I always look for in a job is that does it allows me to be
myself I never found my footing in that job, I never understood what I was
doing. It wasn’t allowing me to be myself and that was the biggest hindrance to
me. I was being pushed down and back on everything I did so that was when I
felt that this is not the place for me. The earlier I leave the better it would
be for me personally because I was losing personal conscience on it and
personal balance of it. My head, my personal thoughts the way I worked the way
I used to carry myself I lost a bit of everything. I realized that it is
absolutely not the way I want to carry on. It is ok to earn money but not ok to
give yourself to a job which doesn’t let you sleep peacefully .So I quit. I
knew definitely that it is not good for me. Because not working for a
considerable time at the start of the career could hamper my future endeavors
too. So, I just called my dad and said to him that I am leaving and do you have
any problem. He said, he didn’t. Then and there I clicked the sent button and
dropped my resignation
Q6. You had no job in your hand for some time. How was that
phase like? Tough or enjoyable?
AB: It was awesome! It was definitely tough, seeing people in front of you
who have done CA in front of you, your batch mates earning lakhs and you
earning nothing.. so it was definitely tough. But it was more of a soul
searching for me. That was the time I did a lot of deep diving, realized what
my strengths are what my weaknesses are, how can I build upon my strengths how
can I minimize my weaknesses. That was the period when I gave a lot of time to reading
and writing. Whatever I did how can I find the best foot for myself. The best
part of that phase was I never regretted for a minute that I quit the job. Yes,
I regretted for the fact that I was not earning for some time but I did not
regret that I quit the job that I was doing. Then I started to prepare myself
for MBA and I did the preparation for about 8 months and by the time I was
nearing completion I got an offer from Citi. I quit my MBA preparation and
joined Citi. I was waiting for a good opportunity to come by, a good
opportunity, because I was sure I could not get into a company where I again
fight with my inner self. I wanted to be at a place where I am allowed to be
myself. So, that was the tough transition phase. But the best and the most
important part of the phase was that my parents supported me a lot. They never
told me that you are not earning or that you should work something like that.
It was not there prerogative at all. They just said to me do what you feel like
doing. It was absolutely fine with them to see me sit at home but what mattered
to them was results at the end of the day. I was very relaxed by that and that
gave me more of a motivation because when you see your parents absolutely happy
with what you are doing it helps. Tough times don’t lasts, tough people do. So
those were the things that I kept in my mind
Q7. You joined your current organization and flourished in
your new role. What was the difference? Work profile, work culture of the firm
or your own realizations
AB:
I think it was a mixture of all three there. The work profile was
good, work culture was brilliant and the fact that after 9 months of being out
of work I had developed inner self confidence enough to flourish in an
organization where ever I would be. I had the self confidence in me to express
myself, which was something that I had developed over those 9 months after
readings. There was a big difference in the confidence level and that played a
major role in my new organization and new work. When I sat down to work I
realized that I own this work thinking this is what I want to do and this is
where my ownership lies. Also, the company bestowed ownership on me and that
helped because when somebody considers you responsible for something you
realize you are worth something. Then you perform exceedingly well. At the end
of the day there has to be that one motivating factor and in this case it was
the recognition of my effort and I knew if I work hard enough my work will be
recognized. There is no better feeling in the world than this one. Citi gave me
an opportunity to express myself freely and do things my way and also at the
same time do it correctly. I also started to understand things better and
started learning things from others from my team, my peers and my seniors. Citi
gave me wings to just go out there and perform and I guess I never betrayed
anyone
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Opportunity to express-All smiles at Citi LDP
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Q8. Coming to the topic of leadership again. What is your
definition of leadership?
AB: If you can impart someone with
something, if you can inspire someone with your deeds, with your words or with
your learning. That is exactly what leaders do. They build role models, they make
people to follow them. They set examples with their work and deeds. They do it
with their heart. Their commitments is their own self. Commitment to job,
commitment to people around them. That is what leadership is all about. It is
about commitment, it is about giving back, it is about creating a generation of
people, it is about making an example out of yourself and it is about taking
ownership which is of absolute importance. If good has happened it’s about
everyone. If you are a leader and if you don’t take the ownership you are sure
not to make significant relationships. Forging a strong relationship in the
work is a hallmark of a good leader, and by doing that he can surpass many
challenges too. Leadership is
contagious.
Q9. Are leaders born or can the leaders be groomed as well?
AB: There are leaders who are born with leadership traits and just have to
accept it. But at the same time there are ways in which leaders can be groomed
as well but those would be a groomed leader and not a natural leader. I do not
despise the groomed leader theory, it is just that I believe in the natural
process a wee bit more. You can only groom a leader only and only when that
person is willing to give in a 100% plus you can only groom to a certain level,
by telling about the traits needed, but it is more about practice which you do
day in day out over the course of your career, that defines what you turn to
be. Experiences shape human beings. It gives way for new thoughts to come into
your head and new directions to think on. That’s how you grow. Hence,
instinctive inclination is also important. You can never groom a person who
doesn’t have an instinctive inclination to do so. If a person is born with
those qualities then they are the good leaders growing up. You can’t teach
leadership as a skill, but you can teach various other things which pyramids to
being a leader. After certain level it becomes your responsibility how you take
things from that point.
If I take example of cricket Saurav Ganguly, MS Dhoni and Steve Waugh
are great examples of born leaders. They know what they are doing and in most
cases in control of things. They have great leadership instincts which was then
groomed with years of professional experience too. They know what it takes to lead a team of
11-20 people. Sachin Tendulkar was a great player but sadly not a great leader
because he could not lead a team. So there are arguments that Sachin could have
been groomed into a great leader but results don’t show that. Ganguly on other
hand is a proven leader. His numbers as a player show him as a good player but
as a leader he was far better. He took Indian cricket to great heights
Q10 A leader that you look up-to and why?
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| Defining Leadership |
AB:
I personally look up to two
actually. One is Steve Jobs and other is Mr. Narayanan Murthy. The reasons are
similar, because they built their company from absolute scratch. The way they
managed things was absolutely brilliant. They bought to the world that no one
had ever imagined.
Narayanan Murthy first. It was period of paradigm shift in India. When
Infosys came along that was when IT sector came in India. Infosys is the mother
of Information Technology in India. They are the pioneers in IT and it all came
from one man that is Narayanan Murthy. The ability to take risk and foresee a
future which never existed then, the ability to think in 10 different ways at
that time in 1980s when you don’t know what the future holds. India was at that
time a socialist economy and the ability to take plunge in unknown waters with
five of his own batch mates with help of some loan from his wife all that is
amazing task to do at that level. I am so inspired by his thought and by his
humbleness, his words, what he speaks, what he writes, and the way he puts
himself, his ethics and integrity. And these are the things that one can look
up in a person and say that this how and what I want to be.
We all know what Steve Jobs did. He created a whole new commercial
line. I-Phones never existed. No one ever though that music can be heard
through a device called I-Pod, we never knew an I-Pad can happen. And these are
the things that Steve Jobs did. He did something very similar to what Narayan
Murthy did in 1980s. He did all that in early 2000s. He envisioned the future.
He thought about the world, how it would be 20 years down the line. That’s
visionary. That’s leadership. The ability to think beyond what exists is also a
leadership trait. That is what separates best from the rest. Steve Jobs was
thrown out of his company, then he built his own company which then was bought
by Apple. There are many things that I can talk about Steve Jobs. His words
“Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish” are etched in my mind. There is no more beautiful speech
than to hear his Stanford Commencement address in 2005. It is brilliant.
Q11 Sitting by Marine drive you once said to me “I want to
end up as a writer”. Could you shed light on this aspect of your life? Were you
serious or was it a joke
AB: I was
not joking and I still believe in it. I was very serious. I believe I don’t
want to end up as a banker. I might retire as a Banker but after I retire I
want to write because that is where I want to end up.. I want to be a writer
because it is something that gives me satisfaction. As a person it gives me
more confidence. Ability to conjure words from my thoughts is an act that I
love. Whenever I write a piece I feel happy because it tells me that I have
clarity in my thoughts. And I want to be a writer because I not only love
reading but because I want to tell people about my thoughts as well. I want to
help people and If I can help with my words that would be good. I love
literature from bottom of my heart. I will just share a piece from an article
that I read earlier this morning, and it is a part of the answer why I write.
The piece goes
something like this:
“This is why literature is the greatest argument for the Universalist
instinct, and that is why literature is intransigent about its liberty. It
refuses to be enrolled, regardless of how noble or urgent the project. It
cannot be governed or dictated to. It is by instinct interested in conflicting
empathies, in men and women who are running into their own hearts, in doubts
and contradictions. Which is why, without even intending to, like a moon to the
night, it disrupts the totalitarian narrative”
It actually gives you the freedom to express your thoughts in a manner
which nothing else can give you in life. If you read a book you sometimes feel
like a woman because you are reading a woman narrated book, sometime you are a
men, sometime you are a child. It gives you that expression in life. I want to
create a persona of a reader by writing. I am dead serious about ending up as a
writer.
Q12. How important are books and sports for you?
AB:
Books
are my bread and sports is my butter. I love reading and I love watching sports
as well. As I said about the books as an answer to the above question that it
gives you that openness in your thoughts. Sports I believe is a greatest
accumulation of emotions at one place and one time. Sports highlights every
emotion that is available. If you talk about fear, loss, win, happiness,
sacrifice. There is no greater teacher for an individual than sports. It tells
you about pain, suffering, win, passion everything. I think my world won’t
exist if Books and Sports were not there. I think I would not have born here.
These are the things that keeps me alive. When you are feeling lost or down,
all it takes is one good book or one good match to lift yourself. I cannot be
more obvious than this. I can’t stress or emphasize any further what these two
things mean to me. These are my life bloods and I swear by it. Books and sports
are something that even the people close to me know how much I love it and
cannot separate myself from it.
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Greatest accumulation of emotions
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Q13. A recent book that has stayed with you for a long time
AB: I will talk about
three books here. Two I have read and the third I am currently reading
First is When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. I can’t even explain
what that book means to me. The book acted as an eye opener to me. It is one of
the best books that I have read in recent times. It is about a neurosurgeon
turning into a cancer patient and describing what mortality looks like. It’s a
great experience of life facing death. It’s a great memoir of a person who
spent all his life treating people but he could not fight his own disease. I
was so struck and absorbed in the book that I read the book in one sitting. I
could not leave it. It was unputdownable for me. I realized that this is what
it is and this is what we are here for to face what it is .
The second book that I want to mention here is A Mother’s reckoning. It
is by Sue Klebold. The book talks about the infamous Colorado shooting. So,
there was this big school shooting in the US in 1999 and this book is written
by the mother of one of the shooters. It describes a mother’s problems of not
being able to come to terms with the fact that her son was a shooter and that
he killed his own friends in his own school. Also it tells about what suicidal
tendency looks like what depression looks like. So the mother is fighting a
long battle trying to explain to herself what led him to kill so many people
what were the reasons behind the act. It is a book that will stir you to the
core because it describes the pain of a mother who knows that her son is a
killer. This poor mother lived with the fact for so many years in the society.
Mother’s only ambition was to explain to others what might have happened to her
son. She never for once did try to justify her son’s acts, all that she was
trying to do was explain what happened. To read a mother’s account of all this
will shake you to the core. I recommend the book to everyone.
Currently I am reading Road to Character. It is by David brooks. It
talks about different kind of characters of people. It talks in great details
about “eulogy virtues” those that exist at the core of our being: kindness,
bravery, honesty, faithfulness and our relationships. It’s a brilliant books.
It has stories in each chapter. It is amazing because the author dissects the
word character into Adam 1 and Adam 2 and there is a very very significant
difference between the two. The author is one of my favorite writer. He is also
The New York Times columnist. So, The Road to Character is another
recommendation.
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Highly recommended
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Q14. You are a big tennis fan. Any specific lessons you take
away from tennis?
AB:
Tennis is a very individual sport. So, one thing that I learnt is to
how to manage things. How to manage individual expectations against what as a
top player you are. If you are for say a Roger Federer then it is imperative
for any fan or any person to understand that you are a winner. What I
understand is there is a huge pressure of meeting the expectations. So what I
understand from Roger’s point of view is that he is supposed to win. But his
perspective after losing a match and then managing the expectations must be a
huge task. He was injured for 6 months and then he made a comeback to win the
Australian Open. I cannot imagine any other sport demanding so much of
individual effort as you need to win seven straight best of 5 set matches. And
he did that and that too after a 6 month injury lay off and that too at the age
of 35. It is an amazing feet and an amazing source of inspiration watching that
sport. It is beyond imagination what he did.
It’s all about perseverance. It is about getting back after you are a
point down, not giving an inch to your opponent. Two things that stands out for
me are perseverance and holding on to the expectations of others and of your
own self. These two are very important in an individual sport. In a team sport
you are you have others around you but in an individual sport you are the lone
warrior. I am reminded of these two lessons in every match and at every point.
I am a big tennis fan and this is what I love about it. To fulfill my tennis
dream, I went to see Shanghai Rolex masters last autumn when I was in Shanghai.
It was too good an experience to see World No.1 & 2 fighting out. It was a
dream come true moment.
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Fulfilling Dreams-Shanghai Rolex Masters
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Q15. Define Passion?
AB: Passion is something that you have to find within yourself. My theory
of passion says that to understand passion one needs to have a deep look within
himself or herself to understand what they are passionate about. Passion comes
from within. You need to know yourself very well to understand what you are
passionate about. Passion is not about your interest areas. But it is about
being passionate about things that you do. Passion is about if you are happy
about those things.
Sports lover say that they are passionate about sports. But I doubt
because they are not playing the sport. It is about doing those things. For me
passion is about doing. I can say they are passionate about watching sports.
Yes I am passionate about following sports because I love watching sports, I
read about sports but I don’t play it so I can say watching or following sport
is my passion. But you will never understand sport psychology unless you play
it. It is ok to call yourself a sports fan or a knowledgeable person about the
rules of the sports but that is your passion about knowing the sport. But off the
field it is completely different. There they talk about winning and giving
100%. It is different for different persons. Passion for me in the end is about
what you do, it is about your work or what you do for living or your actions.
One example is reading and writing, for me, is a passion not a hobby,
Q16. What is success and what is failure?
AB: For me
Success is how I define leadership, develop individual over the course of your
life. If I give back something to the people, I will consider it as success.
Bank balance is something that I don’t worry about. Money is a byproduct of my
work so there is nothing that bothers me about that. Success will always be
what you give back. We are taught Pay it forward and that is what I strongly
believe in. The day I see myself helping someone achieve something is the day I
will consider myself happy and lucky
Failure is about many things. I consider myself a failure at many
levels. Failure is about recognizing your fault lines. Do you realize your
shortcomings? Do you realize where you went wrong? It is about introspection.
It is absolutely fine to fail. But what is now fine is not knowing your
shortfalls, not introspecting on the shortcomings, which is failure. That is my
thought about it. You need to reasons why you failed. If you need to know
reasons why exactly that happened. Because, if you don’t give 100% thought to
reasons of failures then you may never come know with solutions.
Q17. Any message that you want to convey to my readers or
your motto in life.
AB: Remember “continuous learning,
continuous improvement”. You cannot allow yourself to think that you know
everything. You don’t know anything. That is what you should know. It is about
continuously learning stuff about things that you love. Continuously reading
and understanding and applying that to normal life. It is one thing to read and
another thing to apply. For example one can apply what one reads in their
professional life by talking well. And last thought that I want to leave
everyone with and it is the same as what I talked about Steve Jobs, and I swear
by it “Stay Hungry Stay Foolish”. That is the best motivation in life. That is
how I lead my life and that is what I can say to others.
"You can't ever reach perfection, but you cab believe in an asymptote towards which you are ceaselessly striving. "~When Breath becomes Air, Paul Kalanithi
